E for "Envelope"

"Here, there's a letter for you, very important. And it makes you more uneasy....hehehe"

As soon as I came in to the living room this evening after work, my brother told me. From the look of that thick white envelope, I understood instantly that it was a wedding invitation from my best friend and her fiancé. How rude, it doesn't make me uneasy at all! I knew it was coming, and I'm looking forward to their ceremony. Moreover, I'm going to give a speech representing the bride's friends. But yeah, I have to admit that people on "my side" are becoming less and less. Considering my friends' situations, which are not so different from mine, the "time" should have come to me as well long time ago! I didn't even dream of being unmarried till I pass my 20's when I was young. So these days, I'm confused if I'm being single by choice or I ended up missing the chance to be someone's wife.

Everybody says that finding a spouse is not the goal or safety net of your life, it's just one step forward, and I agree to that opinion. But I don't think I'm not determined or strong enough to accomplish my life till the end by myself. It would be much more encouraging if I had someone whom I could talk about my decisions with. He could support me, and I could help him, too. But people around me also say I'm enjoying the precious freedom which I wouldn't be able to gain if I were married, such as working abroad and going out on my own schedule. Yeah, I know. It might really be a matter of priority since you can't have everything you want. If I focused on just starting a family, there would be various ways to do so. I could use dating services, go to matchmaking parties, or ask my friends and family to find a nice guy for me (well, that's least likely to happen, though). But I'm not willing to try those. There are things that I can't give up even though I have the desire to have a decent living standard. My career, people I met in Vancouver, and the network and relationship I created there. It's hard for me to declare but those things seem to have higher priority so far than settling in a marriage. Wait, that sounds like I choose to live alone! Nah...

So now, what am I aiming at? Ahem, in conclusion, since I can't figure out which to give up, wedding bells or adventure, I'll try to get both!

Greedy?? ;)